So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
