You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
