Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My vagina is officially offended.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
