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Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
