No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
