There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
