i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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