Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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