I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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