Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
