Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
