grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize