you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
