thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
