I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Houston, we have a squirter
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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