Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
