Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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