Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
