sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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