I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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