sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
