He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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