Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
