Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
