Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
