Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
