Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
