just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
