i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
