had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
