Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
