im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
