omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
