just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
