Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
me + whiskey = a bad person
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
