just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
farters have to be the big spoon...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Randomize
