I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
