Kiss
Puke
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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