accomplished twins. life is a go
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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