you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
