I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I need moral support for this bender
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
