I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize