It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
