What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
