okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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