you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
