Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
