i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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