Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize