Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
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Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?