he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal