If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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