I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
