youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
