I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
