help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My breasts were aching with rage.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
