if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
