Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
