Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
